


I Don't Want to be That Guy (that makes you sad, makes you cry again)

by m_a_d_a_s_r_a_b_b_i_t_s



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Aftercare, BDSM, Depression, Dom Drop, Dom/sub, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Impact Play, Kink, M/M, Past Abuse, Trauma, serious trigger warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:49:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29720955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m_a_d_a_s_r_a_b_b_i_t_s/pseuds/m_a_d_a_s_r_a_b_b_i_t_s
Summary: This is quite dark so be careful please.  Essentially, David and Patrick had a really intense BDSM scene, except Ray was about to get home and so David had to leave.  Patrick goes into drop and then the next day David has to help him with it.PLEASE read the notes which will contain a disclaimer and trigger warnings.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 2
Kudos: 51





	I Don't Want to be That Guy (that makes you sad, makes you cry again)

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warnings for this fic: drop, depression, mentions of past abuse, allusions to some kind of impact play and marking, lack of aftercare  
> So, drop is really horrible. I wrote this based off of my own experiences, and I don't know if it will match other's, but I was having flashbacks and needed to write it, and then I figured it could be some good education, but obviously don't use fic for kink education. The things Patrick thinks about himself are not true of people who practice consensual kink, which this was, he just was in a bad mental state and he thought them.

David kissed Patrick goodbye, and then quietly stepped out of the car and walked inside. He was so beautiful, a skirt showing off his beautiful legs. Patrick thought David had called the skirt "beautiful McQueen piece", but Patrick did not understand most of what David said about clothing. 

It was time to go back to Ray's though, and so Patrick put the car in reverse and backed away from the motel, and drove back home. 

When he got home, Patrick found a mess. The cuffs they had used were still attached to the headboard of his bed and the sheets needed to be changed. Patrick put on some music and got to cleaning. He put the restraints away under his bed, but as he did so, he imagined David's shouts of pain. He saw the way David had struggled against the cuffs. Patrick thought, “What if he didn't want that? Did I hurt him?”

Patrick couldn't get those thoughts out of his brain. Pictures just kept flashing through his head of a beautiful man in pain, the sound of his boyfriend screaming was a constant. How could David let him do that to him? He felt like a horrible person. He had enjoyed causing pain to his boyfriend, did that count as abuse? 

His brain kept jumping to worse and worse places until eventually he cried himself to sleep, and had a very vivid dream of David yelling at him and leaving him, kicking him out of the store, and hating him, and the worst part was that it was all for good reason. He woke up in a cold sweat, but he did not feel bad enough to justify leaving David alone with the store, and so Patrick got ready for work and went in. 

David came into the store around 9 o'clock wearing a turtleneck sweater, which was something Patrick had never seen him in before. He walked a little bit oddly, he clearly had been fucked last night, and hard, he did not look comfortable now. Patrick felt horrible, but he did not want to bring anything up for fear of hurting David more, and so he pretended he was fine and went on with his day, albeit anxiously. Patrick had been working the cash and had to go to the backroom, but David was in the way. He brushed past him and put his hand on his back as he went. David gasped in pain and Patrick felt horrible. He ran to the back room, and sat on the couch, and cried. He didn't know what to do, he had hurt his boyfriend. And he had enjoyed it. 

David came in after a few minutes to find Patrick crying, and he sat down next to him, rubbed his back, and said "what's wrong? Did something happen? How can I help?" 

Patrick sobbed, and then he started to talk. And then he just didn't stop. "I hurt you last night. I hurt you so bad, and I enjoyed it, and you were in a lot of pain, and I just kept going, and now you’ve got some kind of injury on your back an-and you’re wearing a turtleneck and walking weirdly. I hurt you so bad and then I didn’t want to make you talk about it because it probably really hurt you, and I probably brought up some past memories, but now I am making you talk about it, and that’s probably just making it more traumatic. I know we’ve never talked about it, but I get the sense that you’ve had some really messed up sexual experiences in the past, and now I'm just another person who has used you, hurt you, and enjoyed it. I feel so bad.” Patrick said all of that in one breath, and David just kept rubbing his back, soothing him. It didn’t make sense, he had hurt David, but he just kept making him feel better. He must have hurt him worse than he thought if he was thinking that Patrick was the one who needed soothing.

David took a deep breath, and then he very slowly began to talk, keeping his voice as measured and calm as he could. “Patrick, I think you’re in what’s called drop. We had a pretty intense scene last night, and I think we didn’t take enough care of you afterward because Ray was on his way home. You did nothing wrong at all, I really really enjoyed last night, and I never used my safeword.

“If something had been a problem, I would have safeworded out and you would have stopped, but I didn’t, and so you didn’t. Everything that happened felt absolutely amazing for me. I knew going into it that if what I wanted to happen happened I would very likely be wearing a turtleneck today and have some bruises, and I was okay with that. I wanted that, I consented to that, and I continued to give you consent throughout. Does that make sense?” David paused and looked to Patrick who quietly nodded, already starting to look better. “Now, what we are going to do now is close the store for lunch and cuddle here for a while. Then we will go back to work, or if you’re not feeling up to it then I will go back to work and you can stay back here or go home. After we close today, we are going to go back to rays and either cuddle for a really long time, or maybe if we both want to at that time, we can have sex and/or a scene, but do it correctly and safely this time.

“In the future, if you would still be interested in doing kink, and you truly do not have to be, we will be far more careful with aftercare. Everyone involved in a scene needs it. We will cuddle, we will watch tv, we will eat food, we’ll take care of any injuries or anything, whatever we need. I find that the thing that helps me most is being able to help my partner, assuming I can, and so if I can go get you some water and a snack and then just cuddle you, that will likely make me feel better, and we can find what is best for you. What you’re going through right now is awful, I’ve definitely been there, but we can and we will get past it, and we can do everything in our power to keep it from happening again, to keep you safe. Is that alright?”

Patrick was looking up at David adoringly. Patrick was truly confused as to what had he done to deserve such an amazing man, but he was incredibly grateful. He had come into this conversation with some very horrid expectations and feeling awful about himself, and while he still felt bad and still felt guilty, what David had said had really helped. “Thank you so much, David, that sounds like it will really help. Hell, what you’ve already said helped a lot, I don't feel good about it all per se, but I certainly feel better. Thank you so much.

And so David put up the “Back in 30 minutes” sign, and they just cuddled on the couch for the next half hour. They did not talk, they just existed in each other’s presence, and it was amazing. When that was over, Patrick felt alright enough to go back to work, and even though it meant they’d have to eat in shifts, they were both very glad of the decision.

The rest of the day certainly was not easy, Patrick was depressed, and David was quite anxious. They spent the last bit of the time they were open doing their closing chores and so by the time 5 o’clock rolled around, they were out of there very quickly. Patrick drove them to the motel so that David could pick up some more comfortable pants, and then they drove to Ray’s. Ray was there, but that was alright, all Patrick wanted to really do was cuddle and watch tv, and so they got on the couch together, got a big fuzzy blanket, and settled in to watch a few hours of their current comfort show: The Good Place. At around 7, they decided to have some pizza delivered, and then they ate that on the couch too. Somehow, Ray realized that they needed time, and actually respected that, and so they got to be alone. They decided to stay the night there, and so they got to just spend a solid 16 hours cuddling before work the next day, and Patrick finally truly felt better.

He felt safe.

**Author's Note:**

> remember to drink water and whatever  
> and thanks for reading my first actual like, finished fic  
> also am I the only one who thinks the Roses would enjoy the good place? Like the name dropping would make them feel normal, yknow?


End file.
